


waiting for the sun (looking round to find the words to say)

by EmAndFandems



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Scene: The Bus Ride (Good Omens), meta drabble turned ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 12:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmAndFandems/pseuds/EmAndFandems
Summary: Crowley's gotten used to not being able to go too fast. But the world is ending, and time is running out, and maybe this is the right time after all.





	waiting for the sun (looking round to find the words to say)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Queen's "Doing All Right." Originally posted on Tumblr as a lowercase drabble but I was convinced by the excellent folks in the GOBB discord server to post it here as well.

He’s spent so long knowing that he’s got to be the one to show it. He’s accepted it by now. He knows Aziraphale can’t risk betraying heaven, can’t risk falling (can’t risk becoming like  _ him); _ he doesn’t mind, not really, not anymore. Because it wouldn’t be fair to hold it against him. So Crowley loves, and he loves, and he loves, and he waits.

And still Aziraphale hasn’t been able to say anything. To act out of line. Too scared, too suppressed. Hundreds of years (thousands) and yet here they still are. Crowley’s shouting at the top of his lungs without saying a word and Aziraphale’s sitting there tight-lipped and praying. They both know he can’t accept what Crowley’s trying to give him. They both know it won’t stop Crowley, who loves and waits and loves. And he waits.

It’s the end of the world, and they have nothing to lose, and it’s as close to the surface as it’s ever been. This unspoken hushed-breath thing between them. This thing they dare not define. Decades upon centuries of holding tight without looking, of always glancing over their shoulders and keeping the words locked in, of learning to hear what has never been confessed. But it’s all going to crumble now, turn to steaming goo, and if not now then when?

There are certain things that cannot be said. There are certain secrets that will never be able to go unspoken once uttered. There are certain sentences that will do their very best to tear you apart from the inside out but it’s best they stay inside anyway because better you than him. Better destroy yourself swallowing the words than let him suffer for having heard them.

Besides, what if he didn’t say them back?

And so Crowley has waited, and he was quiet and he was patient, and these things do not come naturally to him but oh, loving Aziraphale  _ does. _ Loving Aziraphale is the easiest thing in the world. And he has waited so very long.

He’s tried this before. Pushed himself forward, and gotten pushed back. He isn’t angry, no, not even hurt really. He understands the fear of losing everything. He knows firsthand what Aziraphale fears. But some things, surely, are worth the risk? Surely there are things worth standing forward for. Worth taking up arms for. Worth saying out loud, no matter who might hear.

It’s the end of the world, and Crowley makes another attempt. Another hand reaching out across the divide, another offer, another temptation. He waits. It is Aziraphale’s choice; it always has been. Crowley will always be there for Aziraphale to choose, if he dares. If he wants. If he loves.

They have spent so long holding their breath. It is time to be released. Aziraphale takes Crowley’s hand, and the bus drives on.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought!


End file.
